Sometimes, We Really Let Each Other Down in Social Justice Work

Sometimes we really let each other down in social justice work.

The letdowns can be in the form of our inactions; the words never said, interventions never initiated, support never offered. They can also show up in the forms of the actions we take; the language we use, the ways we speak over and not with, the ways we respond to feedback or direction from people who hold identities that we wish to act in solidarity with.

In my own journey, I have been let down, and I have also let others down.  Depending on the severity of the letdown, when the feeling hits, it can feel much deeper than mere disappointment. It can feel like a betrayal, and the sting of it is felt more deeply when it comes from people that we are in community with.

Sometimes, we are presented with opportunities that call on us to show up.

To live out the words we might say in times of comfort; to make our actions consistent with our speech. We are presented with opportunities where we must choose whether or not we are going to show up for the groups that we’re in solidarity with.

And when we don’t show up, it results in a further sense of disillusionment to people with marginalized identities who might find themselves constantly searching to find community; who may struggle with letting themselves feel as if there are folks that they can trust in dominant groups.

I have been let down, and I have also let others down.

Trust can be hard to gain and when it’s broken through an action, through inaction; by erasure; by abandonment; it stings that much more when it comes from people whom we have come to believe we can trust.

When the trust is broken we might have feelings of disappointment not just at the person, but also at ourselves for letting down the guards we’ve developed out of the need to survive and self-protect, among many other feelings.

There are times when an apology isn’t enough.

When we’re the ones who have done the disappointing, there are times when we just have to sit with the fact that we had an opportunity to act and we have to own that for whatever reason, we didn’t speak up; we didn’t speak out; we didn’t intervene.

We have to sit with the fact that we chose our own comfort over the temporary discomfort we may have felt from taking a position or action. Trust once lost can be incredibly difficult to restore and even if there are some salvageable repairs that can be made, there’s a possibility that the relationship is still forever changed.

Sometimes we really let each other down in social justice work. And it’s not just between groups. Letdowns can take place in in-groups as well.

Sometimes there’s no good outcome. Sometimes there’s no redeeming quality, no pivot or change in direction that can rectify the fact that we got it wrong.

Sometimes we just have to live with it, and hopefully, learn from it.

Think of a time where you have been let down by others in your social justice journey. What happened? How did you feel? What did you do?

Think of a time where you have let down others in your social justice journey. What happened? How did you feel? What did you do?

Ubuntu,

From Aspiring Humanitarian, Relando Thompkins-Jones

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