On Relationships: When In Doubt, First, Do a “Double-Check”: Lessons from Life’s Classroom
Lessons from Life’s Classroom: Because sometimes, small things can teach large lessons..
I had a conversation with my mother yesterday that reminded me how quickly misunderstandings can develop.
To give a bit of background, she’d been trying to get in touch with someone we know for quite sometime now, sending text messages and calls, with no response.
Some time had passed, and she’d begun to think that this person was ignoring her, so she started asking around to see if anyone else had been able to reach this person.
“Did the number change?” Nope, we just talked yesterday. “Hmm, that is so strange.”
So yesterday we talk, and she lets me know that she was finally able to get in touch with the person. When I asked about what happened, it turned out that she checked her phone again and saw that she had the wrong area code programmed into her phone.
The rest of the numbers were right, but the area code was wrong.
Honest mistake right? We both laughed, and I’m glad that she was able to talk it over with the other person and come to realize that her perception about the situation was different from what was actually taking place.
I really thanked her for sharing that story with me because it reminded me of times in my own life where I might have been worried or upset about something I thought was happening, only to later find that I was missing information.
On relationships in work and in life: when in doubt, first, do a “double-check”.
Some might say “double-check”, others may prefer the term reality check, or reality testing, but it really boils down to taking time to stop and think about how we think and feel about what we think may be happening, match it up with what we know from before, and be able to ask ourselves the question “is this really the case, or am I missing something here?”
This can also work with people who we aren’t very familiar with, but I think this is especially the case in strong relationships when we might think we’ve been wronged in some way. It can be as simple as doing an evaluation and coming to understand that “hmm…, (so and so) wouldn’t intentionally do something like that. I wonder if there’s something else that’s going on here that I haven’t thought about.” My mother’s story reminded me of situations I’ve been in where doing a “double-check” with myself has been helpful to me.
So try it out.
When in doubt, do a “double-check”. If it’s still unclear, ask for clarification.
Sometimes we might come to one conclusion, but if we can take a second look, we may find that we might be missing something.
Have you ever had to do a “double-check”?
From Aspiring Humanitarian, Relando Thompkins, MSW